The gap between the real me and ideal me

I'm not yet who I want to be,
But I am who I am, now, this is me
I want to grow, and grow I do,
But much too slowly I fear it's true.
I know what needs to change
And I know the change means pain
But I also know pain is not harm
And through the change I'm in Your arms.
I desperately want to be who You desire
To live for You, Your ways are higher.
But then You remind I am who I am now
And You are using me, someway, somehow.
You remind me that there are many seasons
That I will go through, for many reasons
And even when I feel so useless, You find ways
To use me and will continue, each one of my days.