The change in me

Lost in a downward spiral
trying to be the coolest girl
wanting to please any man
in any way that i can
just to feel loved and alive
but each moment i would die.

momentary pleasure for lasting pain
this memory would be my gain
nothing new or better would come
and I'd be left just feeling dumb

As i've grown over the years
and spilled way too many tears
being used is not my purpose
i am not a target for curses

Jesus showed me a better Way
that i am loved, every day,
i'm not a toy that can be thrown
or traded away for another loan

i dont need to let you have me
you no longer get to use me
how much simpler it would be
if you could just see this change in me

i do not run to your arms
that promise love and bring me harm
you tease and test and hurt me all day
and then say sorry like it takes it away

no! im done! you cant have me any more!
though you hold on tight, i'm running out the door
i don't need your kiss to tell me im important
and i am tired of you telling me that i cant

you dont own this heart, though you once did
i am no longer yours on whom to bid
i don't want that life anymore, i am NEW
so away from me with your evil spew!

i want to live righteously in Christ
and not have my heart by sin be diced
Please, friends, see the change in me!
and do not think i am who i used to be!

Don't keep me down in my past by bringing it up
remember and remind me i've drank Christ's cup!
i no longer choose that sin that ensnared me so!
so when you see it creep near me, please tell it to GO

i long to live as new as can be
oh can't you see this change in me?
i feel it in my heart, it's true!
but why oh why wont you?

yes i still struggle and hurt inside
but each new day i no longer hide
Jesus saves me from my sin
for whenever i fall, His grace rushes in

so please forget the old that you knew
she doesn't exist, she is made new!
notice this change in me
and hold me to it, to be all i was made to be