One year...

It's odd, i think, that i am writing this, but hey, that's probably the point. I never have been really good at giving any kind of introduction to anything i have to say so i might as well get on with it. So i have been "officially" single for a year.  I honestly dont know when the last time was that i had a whole year of "singleness" (read-"no boyfriend to call my own"). Maybe when i was 14 or so? and now i am 23. Wow...this is just an odd situation to be in. and yet, i find peace. So many times in my life i had yearned for a man, just to make me feel important and special blah blah blah...but it's true. It's how i felt. i didnt see the purpose in myself as a single woman, as a human, complete without another. This past year has grown me and shown me what it is to be complete.
I am complete, in Christ. He is the only man that i NEED to love me to make me complete. when HE has me completely, and i am completely in Him, i do feel complete. I am whole. I do not need another man to make my life here on earth worth it-Jesus Christ did that for me. Without Him, i am nothing. With Him, i can do all things :) I have become more confident in myself, in not needing a man to make me happy, or to keep me from being bored, or even as someone to show affection to. I am so completely happy spending time with my girlfriends and other friends from church, reading, knitting, exercising...it's crazy really, how much i have changed. I have a guinea pig that is so loving and affectionate. I hold him or hug my parents and friends, and that is enough for me. I dont need to be kissing a man that calls himself my boyfriend, nor have someone to drag to family functions with me. I am content being single. Goodness gravy! that is probably the first time i have been able to write that truth. Life is exactly where i am supposed to be right now with the people i am supposed to have. It's absurd, really, for me to think this way because i have grown up my whole life wanting a man. 
that's not to say that i dont WANT a boyfriend, that i wouldnt be excited if a man i was interested in asked to spend more time with me, just means that i am not searching, not yearning, not struggling to be with a man (ANY man). I've raised the bar, id like to think. I know what i want and i know who i am. Well, im still learning i guess. How much can one really learn in just one year...