Wavering Faith

I heard it said that it's not the amount of faith you have
but what you do with it that matters
and right now Lord, im putting it all on You
i wish and plead and pray, make this true!
im holding out for a miracle because that's what it'll be
but then i lack the faith and let it go because thats just me
 This clinging to hope must have just been a facade.
my wavering faith distracts me from obeying my God.

I believe i hear a word from You Lord
the best thing i have ever heard
i cling to Your promise that i want so bad
i get it and it makes me so glad!
then the doubt comes into play
and i forget what i had heard you say
i know it's gonna be hard but will it be worth it
You wont answer that and i throw a fit
start believing that it wasn't true
wavering faith makes me doubt it was You

Allowing the doubt to seep to my spirit
i close my eyes and try to hear it
the truth, but all i hear is "it's gone,
you messed up, you were just a pawn"
i start believing that maybe i was wrong
to believe in something i wanted so long
How could i receive when i'm so broken
my every wish, the special token.
though i want so bad to hold him tight
this wavering faith is losing the fight

My doubt leads to my own sabatoge
and now me he seems to dodge
i fullfilled my own doubting prohesy
mine again he'll never be
then a glimmer of hope and faith
as i look up and see his face
and am reminded how cool he is
and i will fight to keep this
my faith grows stronger through the storm
but my wavering faith is slightly torn

the hardships continue and mostly my fault
in fact, in this, he has played no part
It was my doubt that tore us apart
and the lack of me gaurding my heart.
i cant find my footing, though it is on Christ
all i can see is im ruining my life
i just want to do things right, trust and obey
but with this wavering faith there is no way

so Lord please right this seesaw of doubt
turn into a smile my constant pout
it is in You alone i place my hope
faith in You is how i cope
in You i am sure and confident
Faith in You is what i meant
to not have wavering faith in small possible promises
But to love and live in all Jesus is

In YOU alone i place my trust Jesus. **Que sera sera**