We walk away, God doesn't

So I kept hearing that God will never abandon me, never leave me, never stop loving me. i believed it, to a point. but deep down, i
just didn't know if it was true. I accepted it as truth, but didn't really believe it. Kind of like, "exercise is a good thing." I knew in my head it was true, but my heart couldn't quite "get it." Then I cried out to God to show me, to show my heart what this means. And, true to Who He Is, He show me He did.

It is never God who turns His back on us. Jesus took that punishment on the cross. But that doesn't mean we don't turn our backs on God.

Ok, so you knew that already? Congrats. You are ahead of me in this. When I realised this, and really BELIEVED it deep in my heart I found such comfort....and shame. All those times when I felt far from God, I was walking away. Maybe I wasn't blatently sinning, but in a way, I was turning my back on the only One who will ever be able to love me fully. Wow. This hit me like a ton of bricks. Nothing like the realization that I'm walking away from my True Love and that He will never leave me....now I just pray I never walk away again.

The gap between the real me and ideal me

I'm not yet who I want to be,
But I am who I am, now, this is me
I want to grow, and grow I do,
But much too slowly I fear it's true.
I know what needs to change
And I know the change means pain
But I also know pain is not harm
And through the change I'm in Your arms.
I desperately want to be who You desire
To live for You, Your ways are higher.
But then You remind I am who I am now
And You are using me, someway, somehow.
You remind me that there are many seasons
That I will go through, for many reasons
And even when I feel so useless, You find ways
To use me and will continue, each one of my days.