The age of expression

I believe we are in what could be called "the age of expression."  Sure, there are all these ways of getting information and learning so we could still be in the "age of information," but I think we are surpassing that. No longer is the Internet just to find out the answers for your questions, but it is the place for you to, as YouTube says, "broadcast yourself." Blogs and articles on random issues, as well as quite serious and large issues, pop up all over. 

From singleness to dating to marriage to religion to workouts to makeup to equality to healthcare to politics...whatever is on our mind, we are free to express it. The famous Facebook asks, "what's on your mind?" But it is no longer a Facebook status. It's now links to the viral articles, viral videos, viral pictures or memes or riddles. It's not just "I'm enjoying time with my loved ones," but "...and this is my philosophy on loved ones."

Is it that we are desperate for attention? Desperate to be heard? Is it because, in spite of the various ways of communication, we worry that no one is listening? 

The truth is, I love to write. I love to write about what I love and what I think. And I'm not the only one. Gone are the days where you need an English or journalism degree to publish something for the world to see. Gone is even the need for grammar, perhaps. But one thing that will always remain is our human need to be understood. To be heard. To be listened to. To know that we matter. That our thoughts matter. 

Dear friend, don't you know that we cannot be that for one another? Not a single relative, friend, spouse, child, pupil....not one single person can complete you, being there every time you need something or want to share your thoughts. But there is Someone who is. 

You have searched me, Lord, and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue you, Lord, know it completely. (Psalm 139:1-4 NIV)

God knows our thoughts before we even say it. Even when we feel He is far away, and when we are turned away from Him, even then He hears our thoughts. He is the One who completes, hears, and understands us at all times. 

Although I would love to have an article or book floating around in circles of influence, I know that my thoughts are known by the One who created me. The One who commands that I love Him with all my heart, soul and mind. So no matter how far I go, no matter how many people I reach, I know that my mind is to be used to love Him. And that's what I plan to use it for. 

A picture is worth a thousand words

A picture is worth a thousand words,

And words can cut one into thirds. 

So I will speak and speak I must,

Or else I fear that I may bust. 

Though pictures last and speak a lot,

Of what they speak do we give a thought?

Or perhaps sometimes we think to much,

And distort the truth and spread as such.

For can one photo say one thing,

But to another have a different ring? 

Who is right and who is wrong?

The question is short. The answer long.

For I may make a fire one night.

To keep me warm, and this is right.

But one shall see the burning flame

And think to eat with this dame. 

How disappointed she will be

When no food on fire she see.

Or if one sees the smoke as signal,

"Help me! Help me" it screams a full.

The blush and cower of the one

Who thinks me in danger and not in fun.

Still one, a next, can think he see

That I lit the fire not for me.

One picture of the fire that is made,

But many new plans to use it are laid. 

Not one is wrong, not one is right.

Except for the one who lit the light. 

So many ways to interpret one thing

Be it photo or word, bird or ring. 

May we see with eyes of love and peace

Each piece and part of all, please please?

One day I may set myself a fire

To beckon for help to get out of the mire.

The next may be to guide, a light,

Or cook a mammal after a fight. 

I cannot say what your fire is for,

But know that me it will so lure. 

For curiosity will endure. 

For now and forevermore. 

Rant

Reading proverbs is good. So good. I can't even explain. Paired with asking God to clean your tongue and mouth and  praying with others, can't be beat. So what I meant as a rant, let me knew as say, The Lord is my rock and my strength. My stronghold and shepherd. My life and my lover. My savior and my God. Glory to Him who closes the mouth that wants to drop forth foolishness and instead fills it with praise. I will praise You in the storm. Because when my eyes are on You and i am in You, there is no storm that can take You away. 

Old things gone

The old is gone, so far away.

Today and tomorrow are not yesterday. 

The past is the past and it's not right now

So we can't go back. No way, no how. 

The past may have good, bad, and ugly,

But we each change, even daily. 

So think of the good and smile, sure,

But don't ever think, " I'll go back to her"

We are new, we are being made new. 

Like each morning, the morning dew. 

It's not the old stuff; it's slightly changed

This very life has been rearranged. 

So don't worry and try to go back,

Because time just doesn't work like that. 

Move forward into the present and future

Holding onto our Father and our Creator. 

Jonah's song

So many things You have taught me Lord
So many trials You have brought me through.
How many times have I left Your herd?
How many times have I hurt You?

Through every season You lead the way
Even when I am stubborn and drag my feet
I know that You speak. I just need to obey.
Go to ninivah and new people I will meet.

To tell of Your love and mercy and grace
I should not run away or try to hide
But to them I should race and show them Your face
To bring into Your flock, Your body, Your bride.

Why do I fear to do what You say?
Make an excuse to go another place?
I know it is tough, but You made a way.
I need only to trust and seek Your face

So show me Lord so that I might obey
Show me I plead as I long to please You
Show me where to go and give the words to say
Let me honor You in all that I do.

surrender

Dear God, as I sit here wondering
When will I ever get my calling
I remember You have called us all
Into Your glorious presence and call
Us Your children that You love so dearly
So please Father God hear me clearly

I know I'm still holding on
to the things You have made gone.
You called me to surrender
But I hold on and remember.
I know I need to unclench these fists
To receive Your true gifts
But I'm still holding tight
I want this to be right

I feel so sure of what You said
But was it all just in my head?
If I knew it wasn't You
Would it change what I do?
Would I be able to sacrifice
And turn to virtue every vice

I know I'm still holding on
to the things You have made gone.
You called me to surrender
But I hold on and remember.
I know I need to unclench these fists
To receive Your true gifts
But I'm still holding tight
I want this to be right

Lord please open my hands
Take my dreams and all my plans!
Fill me with You, only You
Because You are everything it's true.
Lord please open my hands
Take my dreams and all my plans!
I give them all to You, my King
I give them all to You my King!

What do I really want?

 I thought I knew what I wanted. I thought I knew what I needed. I thought I knew. I thought. When I didn't get something, I decided I wanted that, and then when I got that part, it didn't work out. I'm so confused!
I met a really great guy. Nearly everything I asked for. I was absolutely amazed. He bought me roses. Paid for out date. Called me "Pretty." Texted me sweet things. Due to previous encounters, I decided to give him the friend test. And HE decided to be out. Now i'm asking God , was it wrong to introduce a potential suitor to my closest friends?! I heard "number 8 13" and knew God had something to say.

Have the Levites stand in front of Aaron and his sons and then present them as a wave offering to the Lord. - Numbers 8:13

Well, seeing as one of those friends was actually named Aaron, this verse really stood out to me. The Levites had to stand before the man who was in charge.and then that man presented the.Levites to God.

It's important to test character. It's important to KNOW who you are getting. It's important that those who "know how it's done" have a say. It's important that those closest to God get a say in who gets to serve in the most intimate ways. It's important that my friends and family.get along with my potential suitor. And vice versa.

More important, it's essential that my suitor be able to be presented as an offering, a sacrifice, a present aroma to God

Awake oh sleeper!

The last two nights, I have dreamed dreams and been awoken in the night from them. For the first time in a long time, I can remember the dreams after waking up. For the first time in a long time, i was unable to sleep the whole night through. For the first time in a long time, I received a revelation in REM sleep.

Sunday morning, I awoke from a dream I recall vividly. I had just gotten married, but instead of being with my husband at the altar or in a get-away car, I was on a reason with my parents. On my way to see my husband? I recall that being my thought in the dream, but I cannot know for sure. In fact, I didn't even see my husband. I awoke before he appeared.
What does this mean? Other than "i'm obsessing about being married"? could it possibly be "i'm not ready to leave my parents and cleave to my husband"? Could this be God telling me, "look, I know you have this desire. But you are not ready yet."?

This morning, Sunday into Monday,  I awoke once, unable to discern why, around 2. Then I awoke again at 3:47. (I was more awake at this time due to the nightmare)

In this particular dream, only one part is vivid. And that is the part where the school teacher is performing a treatment (for lack of better word) that is MY job to preform, to my client. In this nightmare, I look with horror as the teacher, untrained for this specific and sterile procedure, is preforming this task without gloves. Not only is she doing the task of the private duty nurse, she is doing it without proper equipment!!!
The revelations with this dream were many, but this is the gist: we all have a role to play in life. Our life. And others lives. When we attempt to do something that is not our role, we can cause the person who's role it actually is to be very angry. And we often don't use the right tools/equipment nor have the correct training for it. I think, I'm not 100% certain, but I believe, that God is telling me in this dream to stop trying to fulfill the roles of others. He has given me my role. I know what it is. He has trained me in it. He has given me the appropriate tools. I need to do my role, not others.
I need to do my role-my role is to be a helper, a servant, an assistant. My role is a supporting one. So I must support. When I don't, others will. And they weren't equipped to do it the way I was.
I need to not do others' roles. So often I have wanted to head a bible study, small group, run this ministry or that. But now I have realized that that isn't my role. To do that is to take a task from someone who IS called and  equipped to do it. Instead, I need to support them. In this, I am fulfilled and so are they.

God still speaks through dreams. Are we still listening? What is your role? Are you doing it? What are you attempting to do but failing at because it's not your role? Just because you have a passion for something doesn't mean there is only one role in it. Figure out your role and DO IT!

Getting what you want from God

Its quite simple actually.
Step 1-want. Can be $, power, a relationship, job, anything. Just want.
Step 2-reconize the want. Realise that you actually want it. Admit it in your head and heart
Step 3-give it to God. Show Him that He is more important by surrendering that want to Him. Tell Him you want it, but that you know and trust that HE KNOWS WHAT'S BEST. (NOTE: THIS IS THE HARDEST STEP. We may think we have done this, but God sees the heart and knows whether we have completed this step or not.)
Step 4-ask Him for what you want. If after you gave it to God, you still want it, ask Him for it. He will either give it to you or change your want.

Make a joyful noise

When alone, I love to sing. I sing loud and passionately. I do not, however, sing well. I have been called tone deaf by many people, and those are the people I cannot sing my heart out around. Interestingly enough, singing, although I'm not talented in it, is a part of who I am.
I love to sing. My favorite songs to sing are worship songs, or any kind of song that I can relate to. It is a way I communicate my feelings and thoughts. It is my way of sharing my heart and my mind, my soul and my spirit. For me to not be able to sing in front of someone, because I am ashamed of how terrible I sound or they say I sound, is to not be able to be authentic.
The Bible says to make a joyful noise to the Lord. This is my command, my instruction, and my life. I will make a joyful noise to the Lord. I will sing with my whole heart to praise Him. I will sing a new song to Him. I will sing. I may not sing well, but I must sing. I must make a joyful noise.

wanted a song

I remember the day we first met
I wondered how lucky i'd get.
Would there ever be a chance for me
And you forever to be?
As we continued each day
To learn about eachother and say
We think this can work so let's try
I was so happy I could almost cry

So I wanted to write you a song
I wanted a song for you came along
A song to tell you how happy I am
To be yours and start planning a fam

But of course I was moving too fast
And we know great things don't always last
So you and I drew further apart
And there were days I lost your heart
And you wanted to date t swift just so
She could write a breakup song (so low)

So I wanted to write you a song
you wanted a song all along
So you broke my heart
And gave me a start

To write this stupid little song
Was all you wanted all along
You just wanted a song
To be as famous as king kong
Well you were the king of my heart
Until you tore it all apart
So how do you like your song
The breakup song you wanted all along

I just used Shazam to discover Lessons Learned by Carrie Underwood. http://shz.am/t42933233

Faith

There is a song i REALLY love called "Keepin' me guessin'" by Francesca Battistelli (Attached here ). It inspired this post where i talk about "knowing" where God is leading me (and then realizing i DONT and He just wants me to realize that HE has it and i don't need to "figure it out")

It's fun to be at this place with God
where He like to keep me on my toes
I think i know which way we are heading,
and i may not like it, but then it goes

Right when i get used to the new normal,
thinking I'll be alright, and He's got a plan,
He turns the tables around again, and i get more
more than i thought i could ask from His hand
But He just shows me He's in control, not me
and now i know that is the very best place
the best place, forever, to be.

So as the time keeps passing on so fast
i wonder if i will ever learn
that i cannot outthink God, not even based on past
Though for His wisdom i will yearn.

It's a great place to be, really
to know that the God of the universe knows better than me.
To know that i don't always know how it turns out
and He can turn into a smile my pout.
It's a faith journey i travel along
and my assumptions may be right or wrong,
but in the end i must trust God's got a plan
that i don't need to over-think and understand

Faith isn't trusting we go where we want,
or even trusting our logical hunt.
Trusting that God has a plan and it is good
and walking in it the way we should.
that's the faith i'm learning these days,
to trust God in ALL His ways.
To know that what i see may be wrong
and i am never too far gone.

Insecurities

Insecurities. We all have them. It's just to what extent, how many,and how good we are at hiding them that differs from person to person. In our insecurity, we run from something and to something. We run away from what is making us insecure and to something that gives us security. For some, it is drugs, alcohol or cigarettes. For others it's sex. For others it's food. For others it's friends or family or gossip or internet or sports... For me, I am CHOOSING to let my God and Savior be my "go-to guy." For me, it is not about going to a false sense of security. Oh no. From now on I am running straight into the Everlasting Arms, the only Security that is Truth. So long insecurity, I got my Rock to cling to!