I've been in this place of awe before. Of looking at what God has done and going, "WOW!" It's not uncommon for me to tell God, "You absolutely amaze me!" But never so much as lately. And never so much in my own life. For those that know me best, you know the things i have been praying for and wanting for awhile. You know what are big things to me. You know what USED to be big things are sometimes replaced as time goes on.
When i first graduated nursing school, my plan was get hired in a hospital and work 12s and get married to an engineer or something else to give me a "comfortable" life. HAHAHAHA! God told me, though i didnt know it at the time, "I have better plans than that." Instead of being hired in a hospital, i was hired for a position at a residential pediatric facility. The 12 hour night shifts, 5 days a week, up to 17 days in a row kept me from hearing His voice...until one day i started cutting back with work and increasing my hours with friends, and eventually, God.
With less hours and more time at home i decided to start working on learning how to be a wife from the best example i had closest to me. My Mom. I told her i wanted to help her make dinner, cook, clean, everything. But that didnt last, and many times when she told me she was making something and would teach me, i would be "busy."
Fast forward about 3 years, and now i am making meals, cleaning, and helping take care of my 5 nieces and nephews. I'm working in homecare, but still working for the Lord. I'm plugging into people at church and work and attempting to show Christ and His love everywhere i go. God has become the most important part of my life, and with focusing on Him, He helps my will conform to His. To learn what it means to live in the role i am called into. To learn to be the best young adult woman living for Him i can. But also to prepare to be a wife and mother, when He says so. This is the first time i am actually paying attention to what this means, and can i just tell you, it is FUN!
I have learned, that truly,
"For the Lord God is a sun and shield;
the Lord bestows favor and honor.
No good thing does he withhold
from those who walk uprightly" (Psalm 84:11)
and
If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him! (Matthew 7:11)
and
Delight yourself in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart. (Psalm 37:4)
I did not KNOW what good gifts He could give and what my heart was truly desiring until i met Him and let Him lead me. He shows me that He knows my heart even better than I do. Though i made my plans, i had not known that being a pediatric homecare nurse is so satisfying and perfect for me, at least at where i am in life now. He knew that all those others that i would chase were wrong and that He had so much better if i would just run to HIM. Now that i have, I have security and safety in my LORD GOD, who is my Sun and my Shield, Rock and Redeemer, Husband and King.
Everything failed without Him. Everything that was just good, not great, and just ok, not right, for me failed. He protected me from so much heartache, and now i have nothing to do but praise and worship Him. Because He is GOOD. And i am seeing that no good thing will He withhold when i am walking in His path.
Dear God, let me always continue in Your path. To walk in righteousness and not let my feet go to the right or to the left. When i start to wander, God i pray that You 'bind my wandering heart to Thee!' Thank You for all of the wonderful gifts You have given, are giving, and will give. I love You. In Jesus' name, Amen!"
