Wednesday, March 27, 2013

surrender

Dear God, as I sit here wondering
When will I ever get my calling
I remember You have called us all
Into Your glorious presence and call
Us Your children that You love so dearly
So please Father God hear me clearly

I know I'm still holding on
to the things You have made gone.
You called me to surrender
But I hold on and remember.
I know I need to unclench these fists
To receive Your true gifts
But I'm still holding tight
I want this to be right

I feel so sure of what You said
But was it all just in my head?
If I knew it wasn't You
Would it change what I do?
Would I be able to sacrifice
And turn to virtue every vice

I know I'm still holding on
to the things You have made gone.
You called me to surrender
But I hold on and remember.
I know I need to unclench these fists
To receive Your true gifts
But I'm still holding tight
I want this to be right

Lord please open my hands
Take my dreams and all my plans!
Fill me with You, only You
Because You are everything it's true.
Lord please open my hands
Take my dreams and all my plans!
I give them all to You, my King
I give them all to You my King!

Monday, March 18, 2013

What do I really want?

 I thought I knew what I wanted. I thought I knew what I needed. I thought I knew. I thought. When I didn't get something, I decided I wanted that, and then when I got that part, it didn't work out. I'm so confused!
I met a really great guy. Nearly everything I asked for. I was absolutely amazed. He bought me roses. Paid for out date. Called me "Pretty." Texted me sweet things. Due to previous encounters, I decided to give him the friend test. And HE decided to be out. Now i'm asking God , was it wrong to introduce a potential suitor to my closest friends?! I heard "number 8 13" and knew God had something to say.

Have the Levites stand in front of Aaron and his sons and then present them as a wave offering to the Lord. - Numbers 8:13

Well, seeing as one of those friends was actually named Aaron, this verse really stood out to me. The Levites had to stand before the man who was in charge.and then that man presented the.Levites to God.

It's important to test character. It's important to KNOW who you are getting. It's important that those who "know how it's done" have a say. It's important that those closest to God get a say in who gets to serve in the most intimate ways. It's important that my friends and family.get along with my potential suitor. And vice versa.

More important, it's essential that my suitor be able to be presented as an offering, a sacrifice, a present aroma to God

Monday, March 4, 2013

Awake oh sleeper!

The last two nights, I have dreamed dreams and been awoken in the night from them. For the first time in a long time, I can remember the dreams after waking up. For the first time in a long time, i was unable to sleep the whole night through. For the first time in a long time, I received a revelation in REM sleep.

Sunday morning, I awoke from a dream I recall vividly. I had just gotten married, but instead of being with my husband at the altar or in a get-away car, I was on a reason with my parents. On my way to see my husband? I recall that being my thought in the dream, but I cannot know for sure. In fact, I didn't even see my husband. I awoke before he appeared.
What does this mean? Other than "i'm obsessing about being married"? could it possibly be "i'm not ready to leave my parents and cleave to my husband"? Could this be God telling me, "look, I know you have this desire. But you are not ready yet."?

This morning, Sunday into Monday,  I awoke once, unable to discern why, around 2. Then I awoke again at 3:47. (I was more awake at this time due to the nightmare)

In this particular dream, only one part is vivid. And that is the part where the school teacher is performing a treatment (for lack of better word) that is MY job to preform, to my client. In this nightmare, I look with horror as the teacher, untrained for this specific and sterile procedure, is preforming this task without gloves. Not only is she doing the task of the private duty nurse, she is doing it without proper equipment!!!
The revelations with this dream were many, but this is the gist: we all have a role to play in life. Our life. And others lives. When we attempt to do something that is not our role, we can cause the person who's role it actually is to be very angry. And we often don't use the right tools/equipment nor have the correct training for it. I think, I'm not 100% certain, but I believe, that God is telling me in this dream to stop trying to fulfill the roles of others. He has given me my role. I know what it is. He has trained me in it. He has given me the appropriate tools. I need to do my role, not others.
I need to do my role-my role is to be a helper, a servant, an assistant. My role is a supporting one. So I must support. When I don't, others will. And they weren't equipped to do it the way I was.
I need to not do others' roles. So often I have wanted to head a bible study, small group, run this ministry or that. But now I have realized that that isn't my role. To do that is to take a task from someone who IS called and  equipped to do it. Instead, I need to support them. In this, I am fulfilled and so are they.

God still speaks through dreams. Are we still listening? What is your role? Are you doing it? What are you attempting to do but failing at because it's not your role? Just because you have a passion for something doesn't mean there is only one role in it. Figure out your role and DO IT!

Saturday, March 2, 2013

Getting what you want from God

Its quite simple actually.
Step 1-want. Can be $, power, a relationship, job, anything. Just want.
Step 2-reconize the want. Realise that you actually want it. Admit it in your head and heart
Step 3-give it to God. Show Him that He is more important by surrendering that want to Him. Tell Him you want it, but that you know and trust that HE KNOWS WHAT'S BEST. (NOTE: THIS IS THE HARDEST STEP. We may think we have done this, but God sees the heart and knows whether we have completed this step or not.)
Step 4-ask Him for what you want. If after you gave it to God, you still want it, ask Him for it. He will either give it to you or change your want.