Everything Redeemed

Sitting alone thinking about you
Where this is going and can it be true
worrying why you havent called me yet
maybe this thing was only a bet
i let myself get caught up in lies
the deciever tries and shuts my eyes
i forget the purpose of this life
forget for what i am to strive
beliving the lies, angry i become
not testing the spirits to see from where they come
but then our communication frees me
and jaded no longer is how i see
lifting my thoughts to above this world
im lifted in my Father's hands and twirled
In His face i see and am reminded
Of the cross and all He did

I know i can be pouty drama Queen
But i am glad my King redeems
All my screw ups, mess up, failures,
Jesus' blood alone cleans and cures
Redeemed in His grace and mercy freeing
this self-centered baby i'm no longer being
i'm sorry for all the pain i caused
when instead i should have just paused
and taken a long deep look at my Savior
Instead of falling for Satan's great lure

Vanity, pride, self-centeredness, LIES
no longer who i am, all that has DIED
Redeem this life, Oh Lord of mine!
Redeem, restore, rebuild, remold
i want all of You in me be told
You strip away the old from new
and make me pure and clean like You
Redemption from all sins-I'm clean!
Help me to shine for You, to glean!
Take this old narsasistic heart
and with You give me a new start.
All this i pray for the glory of Your name
Jesus Christ, and for Your fame.

Praise to the Father and Praise to the Son
Praise to the Spirit, Three in One
For Redemption is come in Jesus
He is the One Who saves us
Praise God for infinite wisdom
And the furtherance of His Kingdom
You use the worst parts of me
to bring about my purity
you use the doubts to grow my faith
and of Yourself give me another taste
Using my weakness, you redeem
and make my failings work for Your Team
You alone are worthy of all praise
so i will die each one of my days


God has really shown me this week that He is able to redeem EVERYTHING. To bring about good from every situation, not just the good ones. Even when i fall, when i say something i shouldn't have, when i get caught up in wanting things my way, He redeems those moments and using them to bring about His glory. He revealed His grace and mercy in new ways, showing me that as much as i am fighting this one gift He has given me (because i feel unworthy of it one moment and want more of it the next), He knows what He is doing and IS indeed working it out for the best. He will get all the glory for whatever happens and i am GLAD because that is what my focus is for as well. This life is not to bring me glory, but for me to bring the One who is Worthy all the glory and honor! It is when i keep my eyes on THAT purpose, that goal, that i remember and feel complete. It is when i look to the Heavens that my sanity is restored (dan 4:34). It is when i look at what is going on in the big picture, and not looking at what satan wants me to see. Satan wants to distroy me so he will feed me lies. But i dont have to listen to him because i have the Truth hidden in my heart, as the person of Jesus Christ and as the Word of God written down in the Bible

Love Lessons

I am learning more and more each day what this LOVE is all about. And just as important, what it is not. God has been revealing so much to me this past month i am just shocked. Today when looking up the verses that say "everything is permissible but not everything is beneficial," I noticed a very important literary detail in that verse (which is actually found in 1 Corinthians TWICE-6:12( ¹² “Everything is permissible for me”—but not everything is beneficial. “Everything is permissible for me”—but I will not be mastered by anything. AND 10:23(²³ “Everything is permissible”—but not everything is beneficial. “Everything is permissible”—but not everything is constructive).)The detail i failed to notice before was the quatation marks. How foolishly i had previously allowed myself to dismiss them with no further thought. Until today, when i was seeking and God granted me a revelation. Previously, i had thought that it was Paul saying everything is permissible. With taking note of the quotation marks i see that he is citing it as another person (or people)'s words. Are these the words of Christ's disciples who love and cherish Him? or are they of the infants who have only begun to taste the freedom in Christ and choose to abuse it? The best way to use our freedom is in love. Because we are free, we are free to love and to be free from fear because THROUGH HIM we can do all things (phil 4:13), but if we are not going through Him (ie the truth, the Word, love), then what gain is there? Everything must be done in love. And what is this love? Well, I am learning these love lessons. 

John 15:13-Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. Putting others first is an act of love. To do that which is best for them, not to get any glory or any prize for yourself, but just to do it because you love them. To put your own wants and desires, even needs and very life aside for them. I am blessed to be beginning to learn this love with close friends. It is still a conscious choice to choose what is better for them over what i want, but THROUGH JESUS, i am making progress. No longer is it Becky making decisions for what is best for Becky, but Becky seeking God's answers to what is best for the ones i love and following through by the power of Jesus. 

I thought i knew what love was. I thought as long as i was happy and the object of my love was happy, that it was love. Now it is becoming clearer that the love that i experienced before was not for another person but for myself. I was focused on what i could get, how i felt, what i did. Love is not self-seeking (1 cor 13:5).  My focus needs to not be on me, but on the object of my love, whether it be my Savior or my brothers and sisters. How i can build them up. What they need. How to serve and bless them. 

These ideas of love and keeping my heavenly focus brought me to the following verse. Maybe it's just me, but i feel like my "life verse" changes with the seasons of life. All i know is that the following speaks to me in volumes. I identify with the King Nebuchadnezzar, who regained sanity when looking to the Heavens and glorified God. When i look up and refocus on Christ, i too get my sanity restored to me. And when that happens, oh yes, I praise His Holy Name!

Daniel 4:34
At the end of that time, I, Nebuchadnezzar, raised my eyes toward heaven, and my sanity was restored. Then I praised the Most High; I honored and glorified him who lives forever. His dominion is an eternal dominion; his kingdom endures from generation to generation

It is Jesus' blood that connects me to God's love :)

Elementary truth that hit me radically deeply last night. The only thing that can separate us from God is our sin. And as a Christian, Jesus' blood covers that sin, and therefore is our bridge back to being connected to God. It just hit me in such a way that i just had to share it. Maybe the way that is written speaks to you, maybe it doesnt, but that is how it hit me and when i think in that way, i know that this is why JESUS CHRIST is the most important in my life!

That being said, i find God has answered my plea to return to the place where HE is enough and i do not rely on a man or a job or a friend to provide the love and affirmation i desire and, yes, need. Recently i had lost my focus from about a month ago where i was completely complete in Christ. Somewhere along the way i remembered the world and lost sight of the only One who matters. God had the grace and mercy to bring back to feeling whole in Him. Praise Him for that! i pray to never go back to depending on anything but the One who created me for the affirmation and love that i require. Yes, it is nice to have love and affirmation from others, but what does it matter if the whole world loves me and Jesus is not in me?(Matthew 16:26 Mark 8:36 Luke 9:25) From now on, i resolve and pray to live fully relying on God for my purpose and worth!

Another thing that hit me, when thinking about the feet-washing, was the symbolism for the time period. They walked everywhere. Their feet were dirty. These things are pretty standard. But what about those commands about kicking the dust off your feet when you left an "evil" town or city? If you did not get that city's dust/dirt (analogy for sin?) off your feet where you accountable for that sin? Or even if you did shake it off, you were not COMPLETELY free from it until you washed your feet. Then Jesus washed their feet. Showing that HE is the one who wipes away the sin, the bad places you have been (sin, PAST in general). We may have walked on roads we knew were dirty and continued in them, or didn't know they were sin, or we knew they were dirty and ran right out of them. For all of these, Jesus washed our feet. He took away those sins. Washed. Clean. Humbling. Serving. And that we should do this for one another, to help each other get over our past, to be cleaned after being in the dirt (dark/sin). This could be an analogy for encouraging and building one another up, as well as keeping accountable.

Fruit of the Spirit

Why do i ever doubt Your unfailing love
Your peace that i see as a dove
The joy of You that fills my soul
Waiting patiently to find my Whole
For You oh Jesus are ever-kind
With the Father You are of One Mind
You show Your gentleness to each child
thank You for being meek and mild
To You, God, let me be ever faithful
and resist at each turn sin's strong pull
Self-controlled and good in all thiings
You are the Lord of Lord, King of Kings

thank You God for leaving us Your Holy Spirit
and all of the fruit that grow with it
help us to be more like You each day
and honor You in all we say
Live Your Spirit in us all now
For before You alone we will bow
Help us to feel and show this fruit
to show the Love and the Truth

God is teaching me daily these fruits that need to be cultivated and grown. Patience is so big for me lately it is driving me insane (so is self-control) but He is faithful (even when we are faithless!) and He is teaching me many things! Have you taken the time today to thank God for these gifts He placed in you? It makes you a much nicer person to be around. trust me ;)

out of the darkness into the light//Fave Verses for today

 I wanna see more You cuz I'm sick of more me

just wanna know when ill finally feel free

the darkness swallows me up inside

I feel my emotions like the oceans tide

drawing me deeper and further down

I can't catch my breath n kno I will drown

I need Your mercy to pull me up

I can no longer drink from this cup

I don't want to be given over to evil desire

I long to be refined in Your holy fire

to stop running away from Perfection

and look to You for my definition.

Turn the dark to light for me

I want to walk and to see

to follow Your will and obey Your commands

but I need desperately to be in Your hands

 

(Wrote that last night in bed on my cellphone as a text message to myself.  And to my best friend. The morning came with little relief so i cried out to God to give me a word because i needed so desperately His grace and mercy. He gave me Isaiah 30. He LONGS to be gracious to me?! He will!? And He guides my every step and turn! This was encouraging, but still not feeling myself. Best friend texted me and reminded me that i am not in the dark, as i have Jesus the light of the world, living in me. Though still feeling down, seeing John 8:12 as the first thing on my fb newsfeed was pretty remarkable and continued to bring me back to the light. How simple-just look to Jesus and follow Him and you will walk in the light!...then getting a text message with Jer 31:3 was amazing to remind me that God loves me! Yesterday a man reminded me that the Bible tells us not to worry. Today i remembered that it is the peace of God that will Himself guard our hearts....when we think on the things we are to think about and not be anxious (DONT WORRY!) and in EVERYTHING talk to God! Praises and requests, about EVERYTHING! So here are the verses. My prayer is that they will touch you in a special way as well!

 

V erses of the day:

¹⁸ Yet the LORD longs to be gracious to you;
   he rises to show you compassion.
For the LORD is a God of justice.
   Blessed are all who wait for him!  ¹⁹ O people of Zion, who live in Jerusalem, you will weep no more. How gracious he will be when you cry for help! As soon as he hears, he will answer you. ²⁰ Although the Lord gives you the bread of adversity and the water of affliction, your teachers will be hidden no more; with your own eyes you will see them. ²¹ Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, “This is the way; walk in it.” (Isaiah 30:18-21)

When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, "I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life." (John 8:12)

³ The LORD appeared to us in the past,^[a] saying:    “I have loved you with an everlasting love;
   I have drawn you with loving-kindness.
⁴ I will build you up again
   and you will be rebuilt, O Virgin Israel.
Again you will take up your tambourines
   and go out to dance with the joyful. ^{(Jeremiah 31:3-4)}

⁶ Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. ⁷ And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
 ⁸ Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. (Philippians 4:6-8)